Big Big Girl
by Wingleader Sora Jade
Summary: My first HYxRP songfic!!! Really sappy death-fic, so bring tissues. Heero never made it back from a mission, and Relena has nothing to live for anymore. She runs away, and finds herself in front of his grave, wearing his coat, with his gun in the pocket.


Big Big Girl 

by WSJ 

Hurrah! My first HYxRP songfic!!! They _are_ one of my favorite couples, it's just that usually I write DMxHS, or at least QWxDC. 

Warnings: HYxRP, suicide and death. 

I don't own the song or GW either. 

()()()()() 

Relena sighed as she looked out the window at the dreary, rainy day, another tear falling from her eye. She pounded her fist against the windowsill in a sudden rage. _Curse him and his missions!_

Standing up abruptly she grabbed the coat off the back of her chair and pulled it on, running downstairs and out the door before Milliardo or Noin could see her and stop her. 

She continued to run, having no clear picture of where she was going, just that she had to go. Tears continued to fly from her blue eyes, but she was so wet she didn't even notice them anymore. The rain had picked up and was falling harder, but she didn't notice this either. The only things she was concious of were the rhythmatic pounding of her feet, the steady drum of her heart, and his face in her mind's eye, taunting her with its nearness. 

**I'm a big big girl in a big big world **

It's not a big big thing if you leave me 

But I do do feel that I do do will 

Miss you much, miss you much 

After about ten minutes she found herself out of breath and in the park. She collapsed on a bench, the chill of the damp wood soaking into her skin. She shivered slightly, wrapping her arms around herself. 

Glancing around, she saw she was in her favorite place of the park. There were cherry trees all around, and she remembered last spring, when all of the Gundam pilots, as well as her, Zechs and Noin, had come to enjoy the blossems. 

But it was fall now, and the blossems were gone. The leaves were turning a golden color, and as the former Queen of the World watched, one became too heavy with water, and its support snapped, sending it drifting to the ground. 

**I can see the first leaf falling **

It's all yellow and nice 

It's so very cold outside 

Like the way I'm feeling inside 

Sniffling slightly, Relena reached under her coat and drew a letter out of her pants pocket, unfolding the already dog-eared and repeatedly-read peice of stationery. It was black, and looked like it had been written on in either white-out or a white gelpen. Across the top the word 'Shinigami' was embroysened in grey. (Guess who! ^_~) 

_Dear Relena, _

Ah... Um... Er... I really don't know how to say this. You know Hee-man and I went on a mission together last week, right? The mission was accomplished, but it wasn't successful by my book. There was a loss of life, total count coming to 1. I- 

Relena's head jerked up as she heard someone nearby calling her name. Milliardo! She jumped up from the bench, not having time to stuff the letter back into her pocket, and took off running again. To where, she didn't know. But she couldn't face her brother. Not yet. Not so soon. 

**I'm a big big girl in a big big world **

It's not a big big thing if you leave me 

But I do do feel that I do do will 

Miss you much, miss you much 

After Relena was again exhausted, she collapsed onto the ground, not even caring where she was. A sob escaped her restriced throat, and more tears leaked out from under her tightly closed eyelids. 

"Why?" she whispered to herself. "Why Heero?" 

_...total count coming to 1. I'm so sorry Relena. Heero didn't make it back. I know he meant the world to you, he meant a lot to me too. He was the one I thought I could never loose. But I was wrong. Shinigami claims yet another of my closest friends, and this time Shinigami isn't me. Gomen nasai for having to be the one to tell you this Relena-sama... Yours, DM_

The rain was coming down harder then ever, and the dirt under her was beginning to turn to thick, syrupy mud, staining her clothes and hair a dark shade of brown. She didn't care. For once she just didn't care. 

**Outside it's now raining **

And tears are falling from my eyes 

Why did it have to happen? 

Why did it all have to end? 

After crying out her pain, sorrow and heartbreak, Relena felt moderately better and sat up. She smiled bitterly at the cruel irony of the world. 

In front of her was a cold grey headstone, the craving in it procaiming to the world the birth and death dates of Adin Lowe, aka Heero Yuy.(1) Relena leaned forward until her forehead was resting against the cold, hard stone. That grave marker was just like him. Unemotional, uncaring, but underneith you got a sense that it had been made with love, _to_ love. 

**I'm a big big girl in a big big world **

It's not a big big thing if you leave me 

But I do do feel that I do do will 

Miss you much, miss you much 

Closing her eyes, Relena envisioned how it could have been... 

_"Uncle Duo!!!" A young, dirty-blond haired girl ran toward the front door as a certain braded pilot stepped inside, the rest of his family behind him. Shaking the rain off his coat he reached down to pick his god-child up. _

"Hey Leena, where's you mum and dad?" 

"Right here." Relena said, entering the hall from the kitchen, an apron tied around her middle. "I think Heero's in the nursery with the baby." 

"Well that's why we're here." Hilde said, setting down her and Duo's son, Aaron, so he could go play with his 'cousin' Leena Yuy. 

"Hey Hee-man!" Duo bellowed down the hall. "Bring out the munchkin!" 

"Don't call me Hee-man!" Heero yelled back, but emmerged from the nursery with a smile on his face anyway, a small, blue-eyed, brown haired girl in his arms. Hilde immediatly ran forward to take her out of her father's arms. 

"Aw..." she cooed, "She's so cute!" 

"Her name's Eliza." Heero said, pride creeping into his voice. 

Duo reached over to slap his best friend on the back. "Two daughters! Who'd 'a thought! If it was Wu-man, he'd be ranting something along the lines of 'injustice' and 'weak onnas' by now." 

Dispite himself, Heero chuckled... 

Relena opened her eyes to find wet ground before them. Another strangled sob escaped her lips. Wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere... 

**I have your arms around me **

Warm like fire 

But when I open my eyes 

You're gone Relena curled into a ball, her back resting against the headstone. Something poked her in the thigh, and she sat up to explore the pockets of the trechcoat that she was only just now noticing didn't belong to her. 

Tears trickled rivers down her cheeks as she suddenly placed its owner. Heero had left it the last time he'd visited her, without Milliardo's knowing, of course. 

Reaching into the pocket, Relena withdrew a standard handgun. Heero's handgun. She felt her breath catch in her throat. _Is it loaded?_

It was. 

**I'm a big big girl in a big big world **

It's not a big big thing if you leave me 

But I do do feel that I do do will 

Miss you much, miss you much 

Relena stared at the gun in her hands, wondering if it was fate that had put it there. She felt warmth on her back, and realised suddenly that the rain had stopped, and the sun was shining on her through a break in the clouds. 

"Heero..." 

A breeze blew through the graveyard, and Relena could almost imagine she heard a voice. 

_Omae o korosu..._

Relena smiled softly, and raised the gun to her head. "You always knew you'd be the one to kill me, didn't you?" 

The trigger was pulled. 

**I'm a big big girl in a big big world **

It's not a big big thing if you leave me 

But I do do feel that I do do will 

Miss you much, miss you much… 

Prussian eyes filled with laughter greeted two wonder-filled baby blue ones. 

"Welcome home." 

()()()()() 

(1) I like Adin better then Odin, so that's the name I chose to use. 

What do you think? I'm getting choked up just writing it! Please said all questions, comments, ect. to yamatos_fangirl@hotmail.com. 

Ja ne and God Bless! 


End file.
